Five Ways You Can Validate Your Child/Adolescent’s Feelings

Children and adolescents are constantly trying to navigate through a range of emotions, and as a parent, this can be challenging. Validating these emotions allows your children to explore the full depth of their emotions. Here are a few ways you can validate your child’s feelings:

Communication

Communicating your intent to listen without judging or blaming and calling yourself out if you stray from this empathetic stance.

Sensitivity

Being sensitive to, and acknowledging how difficult and even embarrassing it is to be “different” when he/she wants to be like everyone else.

acknowledgement

Acknowledging the problems in his/her life and that they matter. Many children and teens I counsel repeatedly share that their parents minimize or dismiss their struggles.

reflection

Reflecting about how upsetting it feels to them when the walls seem to be closing in and how overwhelming it is when his/her emotions seem to spin out of control. 

understanding shame

Understanding how deep shame (often non-detectable to frustrated parents) can keep influencing the child to behave in ways that he/she may regret later.

It is crucial to remember that when children feel validated, they will be better able to hear you and change their own behaviors. Stay mindful of how important this is not only to you child, but also to your relationship with him or her. Validating your child’s or teen’s feelings is crucial to building his or her self-esteem and will promote solid, overall emotional health.